May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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