hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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