I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
