Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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