yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
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