Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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