She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Randomize
