I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
