So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
