You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?