We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys