Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
