yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
He's a Shit stain on my heart
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs