Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
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Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
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Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.