So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
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There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
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Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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