you would pick up someone in the library
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
