she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
