'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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