I don't usually arrange sex via text message
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
