She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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