We won't sleep together?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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