I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
