youre lurking in front of me
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
