Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
