sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize