there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
