You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
