who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
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the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
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If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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