I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
