I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
