I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
