That's intense
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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