oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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