omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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