3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
