you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
We have so much sex to catch up on
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
