Kiss
Puke
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
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I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
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I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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