its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
