I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
