from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
