yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
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I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
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The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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