she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship