Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
sex in a hospital.. check
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick