Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate