Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
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what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
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Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?