i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?