We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
