Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Even the bartender felt bad for me
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
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It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
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It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!