RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.