Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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