Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
