last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
