You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize