Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
