last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
the day after is always just damage control
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Fuck now we have to have sex
In a bet, need to win
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.