Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
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