is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
