Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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