he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
