I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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