**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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