I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
