I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
