i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
