i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
