Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
