Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I cannot find my penis.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
