yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
