she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize