I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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