Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
