I met the friendliest cop last night
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
