Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize